Editor’s Note: We’ve received numerous inquiries (ok, one) about our lack of posts over the past two months and would like to let you know that we do care about you, dear reader, but none of the stories our staff came up with passed our organization’s rigorous editing process. We at The Daily Podvig are committed to bringing you the highest quality nonsense, so we will not be sharing these rejected stories today, just the headlines:
P.K. Embarrassed After Letting it Slip that Mom and Dad Wear Dresses to work
Oreo Cookies Determined to be Lenten, but Are They Food?
After years of lost noodles, COROC church switches to New Colander
Mormon health insurance denies claim for spiritual counseling; soul defined as pre-existing condition
Girl Tells Boyfriend He’s Convinced Her to be a Virgin Martyr
Aid Fund Established for Victims of Censer Injuries
Priest accuses bishop of corrupting parish’s altar boys after Vladyka tells popcorn-in-the-censer story